


30 days of Batjokes

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:11:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 10,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've decided to do the 30 day challenge of Batman/Joker on Batjokes.com :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.First

The first time Batman saw the Joker face to face, when he takes his mask off and he washes his paint off, everything has changed. A barrier falls. The invisible barrier between them is no more.

Bruce is not sure how to feel. The rain pelts them like drops of stone old ice, and Bruce has doubts. Can they carry on like nothing happened? Meet up in damp alleyways, fight with fists first and with tongues second, always shrouded with secrets, regrets, love and hate and everything in between. They have never seen each other's faces,

and the only thing that prompted Bruce to do this, to show the Joker the face under the mask is seeing the man lying in a pool of blood, eyes blank and drifting away, and Bruce realises that _if_ one of them dies-no, he doesn't want to know that he never saw the Joker's face or the Joker never saw his face and so-

Bruce's thoughts is cut off when the clown kisses him, rough like always with the sweet tang of blood mixing with sugar and he kisses back.

There is no going back.

Whatever happened between them in the months before is all gone. This is a new beginning, he thought as he kisses back.

"I never expected Batman to be Gotham's playboy~" The Joker giggles and the moment breaks. Of course. Bruce thought. Of course the clown can't understand what the hell goes through his mind.

 


	2. 2. Just for you

"Aww Batsy! Is it just for **me**?!" The Joker squeals and blinks his eyes in an attempt to look innocent. It did not work, with the dead mobsters he found in a warehouse.

Joker swings his legs off the bed and continues to talk in a valley girl accent. Bruce shudders and tries to smooth his goosebumps, and it has nothing to do with the wind.

"Stop trying to steal it." Bruce's eye twitched. For the last three weeks the Joker has managed to break into Gotham's largest Jewellry store, ‘GC Jellewry" for the necklace. Now that he look at it properly, all Bruce can say is that he has no idea _why_ the Joker was so interested in it. Sure, blood red rubies encased into gold and silver and carved to look like a heart shaped leaf would make all the fashion chasing women in his circle mad. 

But the Joker. Why is _he_ of all people interested in this? The Joker is someone not interested in money, and all he does, robbing banks and taking hostages is for the hell of it.

The Joker clings onto Bruce's shirt and tries to reach it. "Come on Batsy!" 

But Bruce continues in his thinking. He can't help but feel slightly...jealous. Him, billionaire playboy by day and masked vigilante by night, is _jealous_ of a _fucking_ necklace. 

"Hey Batsss? You wanna know why I want this?" Bruce nods. 

The Joker flops back down onto the bed. Bruce hopes that Alfred is not woken by their commotion. The man would have a fit.

"Cause." The Joker plucks the necklace from his hands. "I wanted what I made back." 

Bruce chokes. "Y-you MADE this?!" 

The Joker nods. "Only thing I can remember doing." 

"You were a Jeweller?!" Joker glares at him sideways. "I can't remem _ber_. Did they tell you where they found it? "In a cave in tibet." 

"Exactly." The Joker winks and grins, But Bruce feels a strange heaviness in his palm. The Joker's past, and here is a small evidence of it. It was worth all the money and trouble.

"Do you really want to find out about your past?" Bruce asks and the Joker kisses him. "Maybe."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the tibet thing, the Joker has a past story in every one of my fics. In this one, his parents were adventurers who took him to the himalayas as a child. He and another kid got stuck in a cave. After a few days/weeks, the other kid tried to kill him, so he killed the other kid and, well, ate him. The necklace was his, but he left it there.


	3. 3. Mutual Goal

"Allright. Punch his face in one, two and THREE!"

'BAM!' Fake Joker falls to the ground, laughing in pain. The Joker watches, hidden in a dark corner in the studio. Damn bastards. How dare they make a movie about Batman and **him**?! He hides, waiting for a moment to strike. But watching for a bit, he sees the young actor is pretty good. He considers to let them continue, h _eh_ e. 

They did capture his essense. Too bad the Bat is not happy about a movie at all. Shame. He quite like it. Considers crashing the premiere, too.  But for once the bat wants _him_ to help with something. Seems to think that a movie is not a good way of showing 'justice.' Haha.

So he swoops in. (Like a bat!)

"Heyyyy! Boys and Girrrls!" He jumps into the spotlight. The actors and directors and cameramen steps backwards, gaping in fear and shock. All except one. The one  playing him. How interesting.

He puts a finger under the boy's chin. Still he sees no fear.

The next thing he knows Batman swoops in. He grins at the Bat and gets a punch to the face. "Let them go."

The Joker laughs, yipping like a hyena and Batman punches him in the face. "Oww..." He pouts, and grabs the actor Joker by his purple coat. "Can I keep him??" 

"No." To his surprise, it was actor Joker who said this. "Reaally kiddo.." The Joker leans in, his nose almost touching actor Joker's  nose. 

"BAM!" He got punched in the face again. The Joker turns and sees actor Batman. "Oh come on!"  He ran out of the studio, Batman following. 

\--------

Back at the penthouse. 

"I got punched in the face! Twice!” The Joker complains. Bruce ignores him. "And they are not scared! At all!" 

Bruce sighs. 

"Hey bats!" The Joker's mood changes every ten seconds. At least he didn't kill anyone today. "Yes?"

"Ten bucks that the video ends up on youtube."

It did. Bruce facepalmed and the Joker laughs. Just as always.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean no disrespect to the actual actors :) rip Heath!  
> ps.  
> I realised that unlike all other B/J fics on the internet my ones are all humour and shit so yea...


	4. 4. Break ups

"I can't do this anymore."

"Oh! John!" The woman on the Television cries. "B-but  I love you!" "I'm sorry, baby." The man says, eyes locking with the woman.

'Click!' "This movie sucks!" The Joker complains. Bruce sighs and throws an arm around his shoulders. "It's single's day, what else do you expect?" "Something less shitty?" The Joker suggested as the cling to each other on the sofa.

Bruce finds that he is getting more used to having the Joker around like this. And more often or not, he lets the Joker off on doing most things and the Joker stop killing as much people and destroying as much buildings. Somehow, they are becoming...domestic. Secretly, Bruce hopes that days like these never ends, and he doesn't have to chase the Joker around, playing the clown's sick games.

But he wants it. There is a wild part in him that wants these games, wants to push the Joker around and tear him apart and he knows that the Joker wants it too. 

"Why! Why are you doing this!" The man on the Tv cries. The woman 'Hurumphs' and ignores him. The Joker turns off the Tv. "Nothing good on Tv nowdays." He yawns.

"Do you think..." Bruce sits up and asks. "Do you think that we can carry on? Like this?" The Joker fidgets with the necklace. "Humm...Baby Bat~" He sig-songed. "You think too mu- _uch_!" Before Bruce can say anything else, the Joker presses a finger against his lips. Bruce notices that he has been much...cleaner lately(With Bruce's forced 'help' of course) 

"I like ya, Bats." Joker grins-no, smiles. A real smile. The one that he has only seen for once before, just for a second before. A prize that Bruce is sure he would never see before, and now he is given it freely. It says everything.

Bruce leans over and whispers "I love-" The Joker cuts him off with a violent kiss.

When he sees the Joker's retreating back flopping out of the window, Bruce can't help but feel slightly disappointed.

Until he sees a small note left behind on the balcony. 'Love ya too, Bats.' 

Bruce shakes his head. Little love notes written while watching break up movies. Somehow, he is entirely unsurprised.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a sad breakup fics but I figured that something different would be pretty good, as I wanted this series to be happy fics in general lol


	5. 5.Memory

"No, stop, I don't want to!"

"Joker, Joker! Wake up!" Bruce shakes the man awake. His clothes are rumpled and the makeup is mostly smeared on the pillows. But the pained, awful look on his face remains when the clown blinks away the bleariness in his eyes.

"Whaa...?" All the Joker can feel is a heavy fuzziness in his head. He had too much to drink with his henchmen, after a rather successful raid last night.

"You were having a nightmare." Bruce said, his voice low to not disturb Alfred. He hates keeping secrets from the man who raised him, but this secret...this secret he is glad to keep.

"A nightmare..." The Joker frowns in confusion. "Can you remember anything?" Batman asks. He has always been interested in the Joker's past. He wants to know what happened to the boy to make him as broken as he is. To know the face behind the mask, like how the Joker knows every little detail of his paren'ts death and it's effects.

"Uhh..." The Joker thinks. He can't remember much of his past (except for that fucking necklace) "I think it's something...about a mountain. Or something."

Bruce sighs. There are hundreds and thousands of mountains in this world. It could have been any one of them. "Can you remember any details of the mountain?"

"Why are you suddenly so interested?" The Joker pouts at him. "I..." For once, Bruce has no words. "I want to..."  
"Whatever." The Joker cuts him off. Again. "It's, uh, snowy." Bruce rolls his eyes. The Joker can be so childish from time to time. "So a snowy mountain, and, and....and a cave!"　

"A cave?" A sudden realisation hits Bruce. "It could be the cave where.." He looks over and the Joker is already asleep. That goddam clown always fall asleep when it's the most unconvenient. Remembering when he fell asleep during an interrogation and Gordon's purple face, Bruce falls asleep smiling. 

When Alfred knocks on the door the next day, the Joker has left, but the necklace stays on the bed. 


	6. 6. Completely, unaltered truth

In the dream, he is floating. In all his dreams, he floats and falls and all he can see is white mist, but this one is different. The mist fades faster, and his sleep is deeper. A white mountain range appears and he hears laughter, so pure and innocent and he wants to move, to move nearer, but the mist covers his eyes again.   
He tries to scream and yell at the vision to come back, but the man lying next to him soothes his back and murmurs at him to calm down and that everything will be all right, so he goes back to sleep. 

He is floating again, and he feels younger. The voices are louder and he glides closer to them, but still he can't see their faces. Then he sees them. Strangers, mostly, so he pays no attention to them. It's only two other adults that catches his eye. He moves yet closer again, and he smells home. He sees a child, smiling so happily but so fake and the scars on his face it reminds him of his scars but when he tries to go closer it fades away again and he almost wakes but is pulled back to the dream

and this time he is the child with the scars and the hurt and the pain but he still laughs because his friend laughs and his parents laugh at him and he has no idea how he knows this but he is the child so he dreams.

And his friend smiles at him and he feels something so pure and pure like friendship and selfless love and he has no idea why he feels like this for the other child but he wants to cry and wants to die for some reason and they settle down by the camp fire and his parents calls him over and the other adults laugh and the only person who looks concerned is his maybe friend and why does everything feel so familiar it is almost not a dream.

The man and woman calls him over and he feels like he wants to cry and the child shivers but it's not the cold and goes into the tent and the light blows out and the man and the woman starts to touch him like they always do and it feels so wrong and they moan and say I love you but he has no idea what to do but 'I love you' feels so wrong to say because it's the exact words he said to the little blond girl? Boy? that sits next to him in class and they takes his clothes off and the mist covers everything

again. And the mists fade again and he screams in the dream but the scream is caught in his throat in the real world and the snow pelts his face and he is in a cave and his friend is as well and everything is dark and the only thing they can hear is the drip drip of water and his friend cries and he cries as well and tears leak out

and the mist covers everything again and his friend glares at him at starts choking him and he cries and screams and beg and ask why but he gets no answer and in the haziness between life and death he grabs a loose rock and slams it onto his friend's head again and again and again until blood is everywhere and he is so hungry and it smelled so good-

and he wakes.

"Shh, are you all right?" The man next to him wakes and it takes a moment to realise that it's Batman and he is the Joker and how strange it is but he is not the child in the cave and Bruce is not the friend next to him but he can still smell blood.

"Hungry..." He whispers. "Blood..." And Batman pats his back and Batman becomes the mist and he shakes his head when Batman asks him if he remembers his dream and he shakes his head because the mist starts to cover everything, so before the mist takes over he tells Batman

"Mist...cave...friend..."

He laughs and Batman shushes him and he looks concerned so he kisses him and smiles again, and the mist covers everything and Batman looks strangely happy.


	7. 7. Awkward Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eh, so this one is not so good...

"Dear sweet baby Jesus, what the hell is happening here?" Janice gapes as the two men parts in surprise in her _nice, clean, suburban_ home. "Oh god," She steps back in amazement and horror. "You guys are going to kill me, right?" She squeaks and sits down on the floor, thankfully empty coffee cup clinking loudly on the shining tile floor.

"Well, now that you mention it..." The Joker giggles and strokes a knife. Her kitchen knife, the Joker's grin and smeared makeup makes her legs shake in a bad way. 

"No." Batman growls and she shakes a little more. 

“Y-you two..." She stares. Why the hell is Batman and the Joker making out on  **her** kitchen counter. Kitchen fucking counter.

Standing up. She shakes her head at them and holds herself up on the counter. The make up stains tells her that this is real. "This must be a dream..." She says and turns to the men. "Did I have too much to drink?" She asks.

"No?" The Joker says, and Janice laughs nervously, and faints and falls to the ground. 

\--------------

"I told you going to a civilian's house was a bad idea!" Bruce complains. ”Uh, well..." The Joker laughs. "Yeah, bad idea."

“It was funny when she fainted?" 

\-------------

"Oh, thank god it was a dream.." Janice mumbles as she wakes up for work. Being a cop is pretty hard, but...she freezes when she sees the makeup on her counter. Janice walks off to work, trying to ignore what happened.

She tries not to twitch at the look on Gordon's face when she told him. At least she kept it a secret and told Gordon it was a dream.

\-------------

"Oh, shit." Batmans says when Gordon mentioned the weird dream one of his officers had. "Oh shit indeed."


	8. 8. Unavoidable

What can you do when something happens like this? Damian wonders as Bruce-no, _Batman_ sits down heavily onto the couch, pinching the bridge of his notes. He knew this day would come. When Bruce steps in his room and finds his notebooks full of pictures of the Joker, public and the ones he take in secret and the little notes and fantasies and all the drawings of him.

He knows the Joker is a mad, untamned being, but it's what draws him to him. The challange. The few times he actually met the Joker has his heart pounding and his mind racing with what he wants to do with the clown. When the clown laughs, he wants to laugh with him.  The clown has killed and he has killed as well. He feels a sort of familiarity between them.

So what if he wants the Joker? So what if he has known for a long time that his father wants the scarred clown as well? Oh yes he knows. They way his father looks at the Joker is the way he looks at him as well. So complicated. His mother told him that if anyone is ever to try and steal someone he wants, he should never be kind and merciful. But he never wanted to disappoint his father, no, he didn't. He didd give up killing for him.

"Damian..." His father speaks and Damian lookss up.

Bruce Wayne throws the notebook hard onto the desk and Damian wants to pick it up and smooth it over. His book and drawings and all his obsession, poured into the pages with so much care and everything.

"The clown...you can't." Damian can tell that his father is pissed off and sad and everything and he can't help but in his mind his father has become something like an opponent for the clown's affections. 

"Why can't I?" Damian asks his father, and he winces. 

\---------------

Bruce almost had an heart attack when he sees Damian's notebooks. The pictures and photographs and notes and drawings make his blood boil in anger and fear. Fear that Damian, his son， has slipped and fell in the trap of the Joker. But the Joker has not put up a trap. He never did because he never paid any attention to 'Robin'. And he is angry that Damian is fighting him for the Joker.

"I want him." Damian said, and Bruce feels so tired. "He is not someone that you can just _want_." Bruce tries to argue but he knows his son is a _boy_ that will get what he wants, damn the rules.

So Damian swipes the notebook from the table and stomps off to his room, noticing that some of the photos of the Joker being half naked missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Damian is ooc I kinda got the idea of this ficlet from the human centipede 2 so it's really freaky yeah...  
> p.s this one is not really related to the other fics(all Joker/Damian fics are not) :D


	9. 9. Dawn's first light

The sun shines(not really, it's 4 am in the morning), the birds chirp(They wake up early) and Bruce seems to be perfectly pleased with himself for once, unlike his usual angst and shit, of which Joker is really sick of, because, seriously, who can stand being emo for so long.  
So the Joker 'shh'ed' the Butler, who happened to be engaged in a prank war with him, and rolled over to sleep some more. They are being terrifyingly domestic today.

Well, they have been terrifyingly domestic for quite some time anyways. He did have some fun, crashing pretty much all the coffee machines in the work offices of the city, and, duh, the GCPD office. Seeing the good people of Gotham go without coffee for a week is quite brilliant. Too bad that he couldn't have any coffee as well. All of his henchmen avoided him for most off the week, in fear of triggering his wrath.

And the sun shines and the fucking bird chirps again and Bruce is still asleep, so the Joker invites himself to Bruce's breakfast(Jeeves can make some more later) ans prances around in his hello kitty pyjamas that Jeeves gave to him as a gag gift. Awfully domestic. Batsy thinks that it's, ugh, adorable.  
But he has fun, and the Joker doesn't really care much about right and not right if he has fun. Of course, causing chaos is a must. Boredom can go fuck itself with a twelve inch dildo.

So, hello kitty pyjamas and a doughnut later, Joker is continuing the prank war with pouring itching powder down the Butler's suit. That guy gave him vodka spiked with water and convinced him to dance for the GCPD. Those cops never look at him the same way again.

And the bird outside chirps again so he throws a spork at it but it flies away and lands on Bats's face. Alfred stands outside, preparing flour and eggs. When they first started Alfred maintained his stoic nature and British humour, but the clown grows on him(as much as he hates to admit it). So his standards are getting lower and lower.  
Not to lie but Alfred still dislikes the clown greatly. With what he did, it is hard not to. Which is why he has flour and eggs. And of course, the Joker has the ketchup and peanuts. They are evenly matched.

So Alfred rings the bell and Bruce sits up, still tired from the nightly activity (ahem, not that type of nightly activity...oh never mind) and the war starts so Bruce wades through the eggs and peanuts and ketchup, trying to get them to stop and the flour starts flying so Bruce gives up because this happens almost weekly.   
Normally the two leave him out of their hatred for each other, but when shit like this happens Bruce learns to just leave himself out of it.

And when all the 'bombs' and 'guns' and 'smoke screens' are used up and Alfred is about to force the Joker to clean up everything Joker calls out.

"Wait!" And drags the other two to the window. And Alfred gave him the 'I am much more superior than you' look which he has perfected over the years with dealing with all the socialites.

"Look..." And Bruce looks out the window and sees the sun peeking out of purple and pink clouds like a shy girl watching the boy next door from out of a window. It's pure and beautiful, unlike the usual dark skies of Gotham. Seeing the Joker so mesmerised by the sunrise, he is further confirmed in his thoughts that the clown is like a child, doing whatever he fancies without a care in the world. 

And this is how three grown men dressed up in matching hello kitty pyjamas look at the sunrise while covered in eggs and ketchup and flour and peanuts.

And, despite how much Bruce complains about the smell, he feels like that he has a family again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back to the general Bats/J storyline. :D  
> p.s I have no idea what to do with this one so yeah I mean what is dawn's first light so I have this be a little different sorry
> 
> p.p.s I'm returning to the usual humour, so yeah :-DDDDD
> 
> p.p.p.s Bats and J and Alfred are like, the most hilarious combination ever, so yeah.


	10. 10. Meet the parents

"Well, this is really, _really_ awkward." Bruce remains silent as the man he has been fighting and struggling  against for _years_ stand infront him with his son, looking extremely out of place in a tight-fitting purple suit. Not to mention that he has known the body as they clashed, as enemies and lovers and now-

"Eh, bats, we broke up _years_ ago, no need to look like that." The Joker said, almost smugly and Bruce clutches his fist tightly. The Joker was his succubus, has always been his succubus, and now he has his son in his clutches, and Bruce thinks that there is some sort of curse in his blood to love the Joker, a curse in the Wayne's blood.

Bruce tries to calm down. "Hey, dad!" Damian calls, placing his hand on the Joker's shoulder possesively. Bruce wants to scream at him that the Joker is not _his_ , will _never_ be his. 'Because he was mine.' A smug, treturous voice whispers in his head. 'But I let him go.' The voice murmurs again and it sounded like Damian. And now Damian is there, standing next to the clown- ~~where he should be~~

"Dad?" Damian sounds so smug that Bruce wants to grab him and scream about how _dangerous_  the Joker is but he knows that in his bones, Damian is a killer, an assassin and he will never be like him so He says nothing.

"We'll be goin' now~" The Joker is as carefree and careless as usual. 

Bruce watches Damian and the Joker walk out of his front door as the tattered remains of his heart shatters.

The 'thump' of him sitting down heavily on the floor rings in his ears, but what hurts further is the last look the Joker throws at him before walking out of the door. He sees none of the emotions in them when they were together these precious few times, when they were not fighting or fucking-

He should call the police, tell Gordon that his son has just ran away with the Joker, or has become a terrorist along with the clown, but his hands shake too much to dial the number.

He is alone, truly alone now that everyone around him is either gone or knows nothing much about him. All he has left is himself.

Bruce wants to run, he knows that if he drives as fast as he can he could probably catch up to Damian and the Joker and convince them to go back with him, for them to end this ridiculous 'relationship'-

Instead, Bruce hold out his hand to the open door as a small, cold breeze blows through and chills his body and his heart. "Come back..." He whispers as warm tears slide down his face, the first time Bruce has cried since his parents died. 

The wind sings through the fallen leaves on the pavement, and Bruce waited and waited as his arm becomes sore and falls to the ground with a thump and still nothing happened.

The first time Bruce cried, he was eight and alone. The last time he cries, he is forty four and abandoned.

Outside, the wind hums a soft, melancholy melody, for the tragedy that is Bruce Wayne.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to do some angst and so there is unrequited love and asshole Damian.
> 
> Alfred has been dead(from old age) for a few years in this fic so yeah
> 
> Unrelated to the general storyline. 
> 
> Sorry if I broke you though 0o


	11. 11. Isolated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on a pad so it was short...-  
> I guess they were isolated from each other?-

Alone is what he is tonight.  
So what if bats kicked him out for holding the mayor hostage(again)? He is an asshole and the Joker dislikes assholes and bats dislikes the Joker, who is not an asshole, kidnapping and freaking out an asshole?  
Not his fault that the guy pissed his pants. Humph.

So when his Wayne phone buzzes with what looks like an apology from Brucey, he ignores it.

"I overreacted, come back?" Bruce texted tenantively to the Joker. Truth be told, nobody got hurt that night, but he was pissed for some reason and maybe he should not have yelled at his-what-boyfriend?  
So an hour later, he sends another text.  
"Im sorry, please come back?" Alfred said it sounded like grovelling. Bruce tells him that he cant respect grown men wearing hello kitty pyjamas and Alfred retorts that he wears them as well.

There is still no reply, so Bruce tries to call him for three-maybe five times.

The Joker shuts down his phome after the first ring comes through. His men avoided him like the plague. Good, they should.  
That night, Batman went on patrol and there was no Joker. Same for the next six nights. By the end of the week, Bruce is sure that he is going crazy. Not that the Joker is any better, as he paces around trying not to look at his phone.

So when they finally met on the rooftop two weeks later, Batman loses all of his self control and kisses the Joker, hard. Luckily nobody saw them, or anything Bruce Wayne does would not be able to change that headline.

"Its allright." The Joker mumbles into Bruce's chest before he can apologise. 

Gotham city could do one night without them.


	12. 12.Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well  
> that was. uh. This prompt calls for this

"Get your batbrat away from me." The Joker mumbles as he tries to smooth his curls. Bruce sighs. "He'll get over it." Damian lies flat on his back on the couch, headphones plugged in. But both Bruce and the Joker knows that he is glancing at the Joker, deliberately or not.  
Damian didn't know for how long has he felt this way, but ever since the Joker moved into the manor he has been paying attention to the man. At first, it was only caution, but it became something...more.

Even as the music blared, he could see what the Joker and his father said. It hurt.  
His mind drifts back to last night, when the Joker is already out and he argues with his father.

\-------

"He is too old for you." Bruce says to Damian suddenly, as they were getting 'suited up' for the nights work. "How much older is he?" Damian retorts, the familiar anger pulsing off him. Bruce looks uncomfortable with the question.

"Ten years." He replies. Damian feels triumphant. "And he is ten years younger than you. I think we are even." Batman looks as if he is about to strike him, and Robin just turns around and ignores him. A small victory, but one none the less, because the Joker never looks at him anyways.

\--------

Fast forwards and it's night again. Batman goes on patrol, but Damian opts to stay behind for one night, because of homework. They both know he is lying, But Gordon's desperate calls urges Batman to go.  
The Joker stays behind, not bothered to go that night.

Alfred leaves the room after the atmosphere gets unbearable.

"Hey." Damian tries to play it cool.

"Not gonna happen, kiddo." The Joker looks up. "You didn't even hear what I was about to say." Damian tries to sound offended. It didn't work. He brushes a hand up the Joker's thigh and he ignored it.

"I know what you are going to say." For a homicidal clown, he is surprisingly faithful. Damian respects the guy on that, but it couldn't stop his mind from wandering. 

Damian kisses the Joker on his cheek, just beside his mouth. Joker lets him, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he would win one day.


	13. 13. Intervention

"Intervention!" The Joker yells as Bruce walks in after a long day at work(forced by fox and Alfred). The Joker spends most of his days cooped up in the manor, playing games with Alfred. They get along surprisingly well for two people who claimed to hate each other.

"What is this about?" Bruce asks and groans internally. 

"Ah! Brucey Brucey Brucey!" The Joker giggles. The sun is almost setting and he is wearing pyjama pants. The hello kitty ones.

Alfred pulls on a string and a large banner with the word 'INTERVENTION' printed on it falls down, along with confetti. At this point Bruce is considering getting the Joker a job in Wayne enterprises just to keep him busy, since the butler and the clown has turned their prank war against each other into one against him.

"You need an intervention." Alfred said solemnly. Bruce wonders what the hell they are high on because this is not normal. Not normal at all. 

"After days of investigation and hard work." The Joker clears his throat to sound like a professional. To Bruce he just sound like an idiot. An adorable idiot, but still one. "We find that you have not been wearing our uniform."  
Bruce noticed that Alfred is wearing his hello kitty top.

"Wh-" He sits down onto the couch. Bruce has a bad feeling about what happens.

Alfred closed all the lights and he hears the sound of a chair being dragged onto the ground in front of him. then he pulls something and a spot light comes on. He really needs to give the both of them a job.

On the chair is Bruce's top quality hand washed hello kitty pyjamas folded into origami swans.

"You have not been wearing our uniform." Alfred says in a creepy voice and the Joker grins. "It's our uniform. Not wearing it means that you are a traitor. You must wear it to be-"

"Alright!" Bruce cuts him off and the Joker starts laughing.

"I'll wear it." Bruce sighs and Alfred turns all the lights on. He'll wear the damned pyjamas and give the both of them something to do tomorrow, even though it's most likely that they are just messing with him.

FML

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ：）A chapter dedicated to the hello kitty pyjamas. :D  
> Sorry that my fics are all so short?


	14. 14.  Role reversal

"Who was it that said this was a good idea in the first place?" The Joker complains as Batman facepalms. Gordon stands there in shock. To be honest, he has been suspicious about the weird vibe between the two but seeing them together is something else entirely. Not that he is surprised about their...relationship. What makes him choke on his coffee on his way home in two a.m. is the way they dressed.

Batman seems shorter than he remembers, and the bad posture and scars around 'Batman's' mouth is a dead giveaway. As for 'The Joker', he is much taller than what Gordon remembers either. The paint is smeared on his face so thick that his features are unreadable but the short black hair is _definitely not_ the Joker's.

"Can I ask why you are dressed up as each other?" Gordon sighs. It's two am and he is high on caffeine. He'll deal with this when he is more awake. Batman, dressed like the Joker opens his mouth to ask something.

"Don't ask, just use a condom when you have intercourse." Gordon has to be high, otherwise why would he be lecturing Batman and the Joker, Gotham city's feared vigilante and villain on safe sex?  
The Joker's high-pitched laughter and Batman's jaw dropping on the floor seems much more hilarious in the dim light of the small dairy.

"I think I need some sleep."  
Joker grins. "Oh Commish~ I can help you if you want to." Batman, who is still looking uncomfortable with the paint on his face scowled and pulled the Joker back, so Gordon picks up his coffee and drinks it all and rips the starbucks cup into pieces and starts to laugh quietly while sitting on the floor.

"Bats? I think we broke him."

Batman nods at the Joker. Not that Gordon can tell which one is which anymore, since he is crying on the floor now.

"I think you broke him." Batman sounds irritated.

\------------

Gordon woke up on his doorstep. He guesses that one of them must have brought him there.

"Dad!" Barbara calls out. "Why are you in the garden?"

"You'll know when you're older." It will be impossibly awkward when he faces Batman again.

So takes out the newspaper, and sees the headline.

"Bodies of mountain explorers from the 70's found. Young boy missing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Gordon has a breakdown because being a cop is stressful, man.
> 
> And a hint at Mr J's past again. :D


	15. 15.Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A throwback from when they first became serious :D
> 
> I guess everything is beautiful and nothing hurts in my fics? Excluding a few lol

"There is no cure for madness." 

They say but Bruce disagrees. Because the Joker is not mad. When he first saw him, he thought like all others thought. The man is uncontrollably, irreversibly insane.

The first few months into their relationship, Bruce thought that maybe he could cure him and rid the man that took his heart and soul of the madness that must have eaten away at him and he just wants to help, but every time he mentions this the Joker just pushes him away or get angry and ignores him for days on end.

And then maybe it's after one or two years that he realises that Bruce has no cure for the Joker because the Joker needs no cure. He is not insane, no. Smart, too smart, too beautiful and all too tragic. What irritates Bruce is that he has no idea what these tragedies are so he cannot help, but the Joker says there is no need to know and that him being here is all right and Bruce accepts that.

\-------------

"I know you are not mad." Bruce says one day, when they wake up to the Joker beside him, which is much more common lately.

"You finally realised?" The Joker says but smiles, a real smile and it was fucking beautiful.

"Yeah. Yeah I did."

Bruce grins back. The Joker is not mad, but many would disagree. Even if he is, Bruce will not try and 'cure' him.

If the Joker was mad then they can be insane together. Killing people aside. It was pretty fun seeing the Joker's pranks unfold. Like the time he crashed every coffee machine in the GCPD buildings and the blocks surrounding it, so most cops has to drive out for some coffee. He made sure that they knew it by painting a smiley face of the largest coffee machine.

The only time he felt truly annoyed is when the Joker released flamingos stolen from the zoo into the Wayne Enterprises building. And that is because he was in it. Alfred was there and he laughed at him when he came back covered in pink feathers and he can't help but feel like this is family.

It could be that the Joker is his cure, sent here so he can finally feel like he is at home, because he has never seen Alfred laugh so much in one day.


	16. 16. Cramped quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to brush up on writing horror..
> 
> I wrote to this music, which is awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLpQ_EPWtT0

With the existence of a basement piquing his curiosity, Bruce called the Joker to explore with him on their night off.

"Ok! Lets do this!"  
The dark basement does not do anything to daunt them. Alfred would have warned them to stop, but he off on holiday on England right now. Of course he knows about the basement of Wayne manor. He was told of it when he first came to work for the Waynes. They told him of a dark secret hidden under the ground of the manor. That is why he is quite glad the batcave is located far, far away from it.

But they found it anyways.

"It's so _cold_ in here." Bruce states, glancing around, protecting the candle he holds. The Joker convinced him that it would be more fun to explore with candles, so they extinguished all the lights around the manor.

White puffs of breath comes out of their mouths, forming small clouds of mist in the black room, painted gold by the candle light.

"CRASH!" The Joker knocks something over as he falls onto Bruce, almost pushing him over. "Careful!" Bruce whispers under his breath. "That was **not** me!" The Joker whispers, eyes burning black with the glee of the adventure and a a hint of fear. Bruce knows that fear well. It is the primal fear, instilled into their genes by their ancestors. The ancestors of mankind. It seems that none of them can shake away the shackles of humanity, not on that level.

Even as they roamed the nights, there is still light. The moon shines and the glorious nightlights of Gotham's decadent parties penetrates even the darkest corners of the narrows, not to mention the cigarette lights of drunkards and many different kinds of light, mixing together so that the night is not truly dark.

It is only here that they can see darkness.

Bruce's breathe quickens as excitement surges through his body. He turns and meets the Joker's gaze under the candle light. They are brighter than night and the only thing left in this world is them, and the small orbs of golden lights.

The door **slammed** shut.

The loud noise snapped the two out of the trance. "That was not me." Bruce murmurs this time and Joker echoed that statement.

They kept moving forward, not willing to run for the door and burst out into the light, because at that moment, the world of the light did not belong to them. They are children of the night. The people of they day has shunned them for who they are so they venture into ancestral grounds, walking on the bones of their fathers, closing themselves from the world that closed the door of normality from them.

They heard whispers. Even though the basement is spacious Bruce grabs the Joker close to him, to keep him from running from him because he felt that all his worst fears are going to come true at that moment. The whispers told him that one day his clown will leave and there is nothing that will bring him back ever, ever again.

"Bats?" The Joker grins. "What, scared of a few noises?" Bruce shakes his head. "Do you hear the whispers?' The Joker nods, suddenly as serious as he could be.

The whispers told the Joker about the Bat's cold cold eyes as he snarls and leaves him, tying him up and abandoning him to the crooked hands of Justice and fairness because Batman cannot ever, ever let the Joker just walk into his life.

They both know that the whispers are lying, as they talked aloud to drive away the constant noise.

The the whispers stopped and the candles went out. They fall into silence as the inky black envelopes them like a shroud. The silence is more unbearable than the low voices promising sweet death echoing through true night.

They both try to talk, but their tongues are as heavy as lead in their mouths. The pitch black has not given anything a chance to get used to the darkness.

Then the whispers came back. They seemed to stray away from the Joker, an invisible stench of blood coming off him but they surrounded everything else. They sang about death and the futility of living. Bruce steadies himself. It is just another enemy, so face them like one. The claustrophobia closes off on them.

It is hard to beat an enemy without a face.

That night they huddled together in the dark, neither falling asleep for the voices in the dark snatches up their prey when they are most vulnerable. There is no more fear.

They left and locked the doors when the first rays of sunshine shines through the cracks on the door.

"Can we agree to _never_ go down there again?" Bruce asks and the Joker nods, taking a gulp of water. They are stronger than the children of day, by body and by mind but they are not the night, at least not yet.  
They agreed.

Later, when Alfred came back, he knew that for once, the Joker's death toll has managed to save their lives. He does not explain what is under the manor, but that night he returns to tape every corner of the door.


	17. 17. Punch you in the face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I just had to include our commish and fluff and humour lol

"JOKER!' Bruce roars and slams his fist into the Joker's face, and the clown only giggles at Bruce's twitching eyes and bright red face.

\--------

5 hours earlier.

"What did you do this time." Commissioner Gordon glares at the Joker as he tries to work out why the clown is here when there is no big crime in Gotham lately. Truth be told, he is getting quite used to their relationship, although he still has no heart to tell the female officer that, yes, that was not a dream and Batman and the Joker are, quite officially, dating.  
Sometimes he wonders if one day Batman would invite him to the wedding. He idly imagines walking the Joker in a full bridal gown down the isle and decides that he'd rather not think about anything that involves 'The Joker' and 'wedding dress.'

"I did nothing." The Joker licks his lips as it stretched wider. Is it even possible at this point? He looks like the Cheshire cat. 

"The why are you-" Gordon asks. 

"I invited myself in." The Joker grins and hands him a package. What is it? Bomb? He opens it up and finds a pair of hello kitty pyjamas, folded and all too innocent.  
"What do you want?" Gordon frowns and lifts up his head.

"I need a few things..."

An entire rubbish bag of cat food, a bottle of vodka and a Batman plushie cushion(where do they make those) later, Bruce returns from patrol only to gape at the sight in front of him. Alfred, obviously drunk lies asleep on the sofa, snoring loudly.

The Joker and Gordon also sits on the carpet, covered in cat food and wearing matching hello kitty pyjamas. About twenty or thirty cats and quite a few kittens strolled through the manor, meowing for attention and cat food.

"Y-you!" Bruce just stares.

"E-eh, hello Bruce..." Gordon slurred, and Bruce sighs. Looks like the Joker has leaked his secret. Strangely, Bruce felt relieved that his one of his closest friends can finally understand who he is and he does not need to cover up ant more, but out of righteous anger that he is supposed to have, Bruce sighs and socks the Joker on his jaw.

"Aw bats baby!" The Joker coos and clings onto Bruce's arm. Looks like he'll not be getting any rest tonight.


	18. 18.Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is all kinds of fluff :D

Bruce feels slightly selfish as he holds both of the sleeping clowns close as they dozed off on the sofa at the third movie they were watching. Noticing that the two never really watched any Disney movies, Bruce decides that they need to do so.

At first, he thought he was, well, selfish and bad for the fling he has with the Jokester, but the Joker took it surprisingly well. He got along with Jackie swimmingly. 

Watching movies, they ended up supporting the movie villains and they may have cried together at one point. All three of them.

When their strange relationship was in it’s early stages, Bruce has his doubts. He wonders if he is irritatingly selfish for wanting and loving two clowns. That and the Jokester fits in much more with the Joker than with him, from morals to general behaviour.

Then he told him about his doubts and they laughed and their laughter washed away any doubt he has about his selfishness.

Bruce feels incredibly lucky. He cannot explain nor describe this phenomenal feeling, but when he is with any of the two a small fire lit up in his belly and he smiles.

Of course, it was not easy at the start. Jokester wanders off to fight the Criminal Syndicate of America and the Joker robbed banks and held hostages. Well, he still does that except that he no longer kills all the hostages.

And the Jokester still fights the CSA but the Riddler family is taking over most of his work.

There are times when they fight and break apart from each other, but like a magnet they are drawn back together in the end. Bruce thinks that this is love. They tell him that this is love.

Somehow, despite all the things that could go wrong, they managed. 

 

“Hu? Is it over?” The Joker asks groggily and leans onto Bruce. The commotion wakes the Jokester and both of the clown giggles and clings onto Bruce, their signal suits spilling out around them.

“I think it is~” Jokester sighs back and beckons Bruce to put in another movie. Alfred thought it hilarious that they order him around at the  Manor.

As he picks ‘Cinderella’ from the DVD sets, Bruce thought that if this is being selfish, then he could do with a little bit of selfishness in his life now or then. 


	19. 19.old fashioned

When Gordon had the Dream(nightmare) that Batman and the Joker is getting married in an abandoned warehouse, he has no idea that it is right now, and the fact that they all looked as if they were high on an entire pharmaceutical store.

So him, dressed in his sunday best, along with Alfred in a tux with frilled, lacey edges that looked like he just stepped out of an 1800s family portrait.

And then there is Brce Wayne wearing a tuxedo and the Batman cowl, as well as the Joker in full war paint like make up and a enormous white dress that has the constitution of a gigantic marshmellow.

And then Gordon is walking the Joker down the asle and wanting to cry. Then they got married and kissed and all that and there was a fucking _priest._

And then they were all dressed in hello kitty pyjamas and are taking shots of vodka and tenquila and pretty much all the alcohol Bruce Wayne has hidden around the giant-fucking-mansion.

Everything else became a blur and there was all sorts of insanity. Like dancing toys and Batman went and dressed up in the full Batman suit and went down on one knee with a hello kitty ring and slurred

"Marry me, I'm the Goddamn Batman." And the Joker was laughing and Gordon wants to ask them didn't they just get married and Alfred is no where to be seen. 

And the vigilante and the villain has matching rings theat had hello kitty on it and-

Everythingturns to black.

\---------------------------

"Ow..." Gordon wakes up and rubs his head, thinking that he'll be back in his room in his home and that was all a strange, strange dream and he will never touch alcohol ever, ever again.

Then he turns and sees Batman and the Joker collapsed onto each other. Thank everything they still had their clothes on.

"Wake up!" He hisses at them.

Bruce groans, his head pounding with what must be a killer hangover. He pushes the Joker off him and he falls to the floor with an 'oompf.'

"Batsss-" The Joker whines and pushes himself up. "What the hell happened?"

"I think you all got high. Very high." Alfred steps into the room with a mop ad holds up a plastic bag filled with all different kinds of drugs. 

"Oh, _shit_." Gordon groans. He will have to fire himself for this.

"We got high?" The Joker blinks. "Yes." Alfred replies and Bruce groans again. "And vegas happened." He points to the matching rings on their fingers.

"Fuck." Batman stares at the ring on his finger, on the Joker's finger then on his finger again. " _Fuck_." He turns to Gordon, eyes wide. "What the hell happened?!"

Gordon got up, threw up into a plastic bag Alfred handed hm and said "I quote, 'Marry me, I'm the goddamn Batman.'" 

The Joker continues to laugh at the expression on Batman's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The goddamn Batman's ring :http://www3.images.coolspotters.com/photos/179775/darling-hello-kitty-heart-ring-profile.jpg
> 
> Poor Gordon, being dragged into all this lol. And they were all high. Very, very high. Well they were drunk before they were high,
> 
> Was the wedding a hallucination or did it happen??
> 
> -My fail attempt at humour lol


	20. 20. This is why I’ll see you in hell.

"Oh god." Bruce paces around the room. "Oh my god."

"It's like waking up in Vegas all over again." Alfred fondly tells the two very shocked men his tale of taking a trip to New York as a young man (not Vegas, but similar back then.) And waking up very hungover and married to three separated people.

"That is great, Alfred. Just great." Bruce moans as the Joker sits on the floor, turning the ring around on his hand to catch the light as if he has never seen anything like that before.

“Marry me, I’m the Goddamn Batman.” He quoted Bruce again and rolled around on the floor, laughing.

“Shut it.” Bruce grumbles, not even meaning it. Oh god, he is married. Not legally married, but to him this is about it. And it just has to be a  hello Kitty ring. Why?

He kind of wanted to cry. Just a little bit. Throw himself on the floor and scream in the hysterical hysteria that this whole ordeal is.

“By the way” The Joker states absent-mindedly.  “Gordy was there too, I think. Wasn’t he the priest?”

“Actually, I am the priest...” A weak voice came from the cabinet. Bruce and the Joker whipped around to face the man in robes that fell out of  the particularly large cabinet.

“What is this sorcery?” The Joker shakes his head and continues to laugh at the horrified look on Bruce’s face.

The priest smoothed his robes and said as calmly as he could “Congratulations” to the duo then bolted out of the room like his life depended  on it.

“Should I go and, uh, catch him” The Joker asks, mischief glinting in his eyes.

“No. Just, no.” Bruce facepalmed. 

“If life is hell then we sure got a free, meals included ride. With movies.” The Joker wonders aloud and Bruce finds himself agreeing. 

“Might as well put this on.” Bruce slips the ring onto his finger and the Joker does the same. 

“Are we really married now?’ The clown asks, leaning lazily across Bruce’s lap, both in casual, baggy dress. “I guess so.”

That night, Gordon caught sight of the ring hung across Batman’s neck like a lucky charm. He decides not to comment.

 

 

 

 


	21. 21. Losing a sense

Bruce shook as the Joker strokes his hair.

Not being able to see _hurts_. The acid that drenched through his eyeballs must have leaked downwards into his mind because his head is throbbing.

He reaches out for his face. The Joker is surprisingly silent in the darkness that is the aftermath. It was not his fault, of course. It was no one's fault but his for chasing a drug dealer in a dangerous abandoned chemical factory. The other man was instantly incinerated. The Joker himself was injured, blisters running across his arms.

The poisonous chemicals sink into their skin.

Bruce strokes the blisters on the Joker's arm and he touchs against the burns over his eyes.

It is almost dawn, and Bruce wishes that he could see all the bright lights of Gotham's skyscape fade against the purple and pink and gold of the beginning of a new day.

"We are gonna die, right?' The Joker asks, tears welling up in his eyes as the flesh on his arms twisted and screamed in heavy agony. He continues to run his fingers through Batman's hair as the man shifted in his lap.

"Everything will be fine." Bruce whispers to the clown. His lover.

"I should-should-" He murmurs and yawns again, little droplets of tears falling on his face. The Joker cries because he knows that this is the last time he will ever sit on the couch by the window and watch the sun rise with Batman. With _Bruce._

"I love you." Bruce choke- whispers with a smile.

Gradually, the poisonous chemicals seeps into his veins and his heart and brain and warm drops of sunshine lights his face up as the sun, oblivious to the tragedy it is witnessing climbs up onto the sky to breath life to the city.

"I've got'cha, batsy. Brucie. Bruce." The Joker presses his forhead to Bruce's as the poisons slowly paralyse his systems and making it hard to breath.

"I've got you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for doing this XD Please comment! So this is hort as hell but-


	22. 22. One geed day

Bruce had never thought that he would be sitting on the couch, dressed in pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt with his arch-nemesis sitting next to him, dressed exactly the same, watching movies and eating ice-cream and popcorn.

"Are you mixing ice-cream and popcorn?!" Bruce turns away from the romantic comedy that is currently showing and to the clown that is staring down into his bowl, spoon mixing the sugary sweet ice cream and the popcorn.

"Uh-huh." The clown grins and shoves a spoonful into his mouth, laughing at the half disgusted and half intrigued look on Bruce's face. "Wanna try?" He says with his face stuffed.

Bruce shoves the Joker. "Don't talk with your mouth full. A fond smile stretched upon his face. It is nice for them not to fight through the night for once. One good day.

"Meanie." The Joker pouts, and then takes to spoon and put it by Bruce's mouth. "Try it. Seriously." He looks anything but serious, with the paint half gone and a goofy grin on his face.

"Fine." Bruce rolls his eyes and opens his mouth. It tasted...strange, but better than he thought. Since when has he been able to just sit and laugh with this man?

"Great!" The clown fist pumped the air. "Change of movie, I hate this one."

"You cried when they broke up." Bruce sighs, exasperated. "It was the hormones." It amazes Bruce how funny this man is without the whole 'killing people' thing. They should do this more often.

 

"Lets watch horror movies!" The Joker shouted and pushed Bruce off the couch, demanding him to change the movie. Bruce sighs, and puts on the Grudge.

The Joker spent the rest of the night either screaming or criticizing the stupidity of the main characters. Bruce feels as if everything is right, for once.

 


	23. 23. Sacrife

Batman opens his eyes to the sight of the Joker, in a skin tight purple dress and covered in blood.

He blinks slightly, as the Joker registers the fact that he has woken up and giggles, stroking the cowl.

“Oh, batsy batsy batsy!” The clown croons, twirling the knife with his hand. “Look at what I have done for you!” He turns around, back facing Batman as the Bat attempts to struggle out of the rope and steel that binds him-

 

Then he catches eye of what is on the ceiling.

The way the Bat’s eyes opens so large is comical, the Joker thought as he picks at the part of his dress which is sticking to his body with the stench of rust and blood-

There is also blood in his heels. Have to wash them out later.

Batman turns his glare to the Joker, in all his green-haired, pale-skinned glory. He struggles even harder, rattling the chains against the wall and the concrete floor.

“What. Have. You. Done-” He growls at the Joker, who only runs a hand through green curls, messing them up with blood as some drips onto the blood red lips.

 

“Oh, that-” The Joker glances up to the ceiling. The bodies of the men and women, hostages used to lure his Bat-king here into his arms-

 

They were hacked up, both grotesquely and artistically. Expressions on their faces are nothing but twisted variations of horror, only to be marred by the blood wiped around their mouths to form smiles-

 

Their limbs are broken-

Their necks are snapped- 

 

Purple flowers are arranged, sticking from their genitals.

 

“That is my sacrifice for you-” he tips down, kissing Batman’s forehead as the man leans back as far away from the clown as possible-

 

“You made who you are,” The Joker smiles, oddly innocent. “When I fell into the acid- I understood who you are-

 

My Bat, my God, my King.” His eyes stay fixated to Bruce’s, and he wants to throw up- but he is also intrigued, and slightly drawn in by the  Joker’s feverent worship-

The flames of obsession and what could be a mess of love and pure adoration and enmity burns in the Joker’s eyes.

He grabs a corpse by it’s ankle- the body too deformed to tell that it once belonged to a human-

And dragged it down until it lands in a bloody heap on Batman’s suit, the flowers crushed in contact with the body.

Bruce holds down the bile in his throat.

 

The Joker strides up and pushes some of the limp meat away from Batman’s suit, and kneels down, the concrete digging into his knees-

 

Batman watches, mind whirring with any option of escape while Bruce stares on in fascination-

The Joker cradles the Bat, kissing his forehead again as he began a new session of thrashing-

 

One day the bat would understand.


	24. 24. Rumours

Rumour has it-

 

Rumour has it that you are leaving me for her-

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m telling you, It’s just a rumour!” Bruce begs, but Jack does not seem interested in hearing any of his groveling. Damn. He’d have to level up now.

 

Jack continues to stalk away from Bruce, too pissed off to hear his argument. Pssh-just a rumour-as if! 

But Jack has to rest under the shades of the trees from time to time. Being hypersensitive to anything is pretty...uncomfortable at times.  Especially when the sunlight buzzes in his ear

 

“C’mon Jack!” Bruce whines. Being dumped never feels good, but he actually likes Jack, which means it’d even worse-

The air flies around Jack like invisible nymphs and they sing to him, hymns about death and fire and he wonders if he should just burn a  building down. Again. 

Of course Bruce would not let him, being all moral and justice driven and whatnot. But even when Bruce acts all high and mighty, Jack knows  that he is just the rich kid from the huge mansion with the bodyguards.

 

* * *

 

And it was no rumour. Well, it was a rumour, but the Harvey Dent told him that Bruce likes Rachel and because Harvey likes Rachel too Jack is more inclined to believe him than Bruce’s babblings.

 

“C’mon, baby, I swear-!” Bruce wraps his arms around Jack’s midriff. What should he say? He liked Rachel but as a friend and maybe he used to like her but then Jack came along and Harvey is just being a dick?

 

“I don’t believe you.” Jack glares at his shadow. The light flickering on the trees like golden flowers that tells him to kill someone or blow  something up- but he wouldn’t. He’s taking meds for that on Bruce’s money- for god’s sake-

 

“I’m gonna explain. Just gimmie a chance, please?” Bruce smiles a little when Jack hesitates, but nods. Jack thinks it’s a bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was shitty...I cannot finish them all but enjoy!


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